| Location | Colchester |
| Age | 25 years |
| Date of Birth | 3/1982 |
| Date of Death | 16/02/2008 |
| Visitors | 1,862 since 23/04/2008 |
| Creator |
The first time I met my half brother I was 16, we met in the old king cole pub, see stu lived with
his mum and I lived with mine. I was so nervous, sweating and shaking thinking he wouldnt like me or
I wouldnt be what he was expecting..... I walked in and he was sitting in the far corner with his
mum Carol, I smiled and slowly walked over he stood up and through his arms around me, he held me so
tight I didnt think he'd ever let go.
I was with my mum too and the four of us sat chatting for ages!!
I haddent seen Stu since I was 18 months old so we had alot to catch up on!!
After afew drinks Carol and Stu invited me back to their home for dinner. The whole time I was there
I just kept stairing at Stu wondering why the hell I hadden't got to know him sooner... I had tried
I sent him birthday
and christmas cards, but then stu spent afew months in prison and he started writting letters to my
mum then one day I asked my mum if I could write to him she said yes and I did, he didnt write back
but in his next letter to my mum he said he'd come and see me as soon as he got out.
As promissed he did but I was at work so I missed him I was gutted!!.....Any way after dinner at his
mums we promissed to stay in touch, now i'd met my funny, amazing lovely big brother I wasnt about
to let him go!!!
We called each other all the time and he came round on my days off we would sit for hours smoking
and chatting away Stuart found every thing a laugh and a joke he told me afew stories about his past
what he got up to with his mates, he always spoke about his close friend Magoo I've never met him
but I know stuart thought alot of him.
Stu also got to know Justin and Craig (our other brothers) really well, he started to meet Craig in
the pub most days for a drink.
Craig said Stu would always go straight to the jukebox and put on either Eminem or 50 cent, Stu was
rap mad he was always rapping away he was really good at it!!
Any way for a couple of years things were great we'd all see each other regularly and Stu came to
all our family partys and he stayed over afew times..... Untill one day it just stopped, I didnt
really think much of it at first I just thought that maybe he needed a break from us all..... then a
couple of months later I saw Carol and after a while she explained to me that Stuart had been
diagnosed with schizophrenia, she said that he'd taken the news bad and didnt want to see or speak
to any one, still I gave her my new home number and told her to tell Stu to call if he needed
me....he did and we arranged for me to go and see him 2 weeks later.
The day of my visit came and Stuart wasnt in, Carol said he'd wanted to go out with his mates insted
which was a good thing as he haddent been out in a while....so I stopped worring I just thought that
if he had started going out with his mates again then every thing must fine.......... but about 2
weeks or so before stuart died my mum rang me and told me things wern't right, Carol had taken some
time off work to spend with stu I didnt know what to do... I didnt want to ring incase he didnt want
to talk to anyone so I started writting a text message to him insted.... but nothing I wrote seemed
right, so I thought I'd just leave him alone for afews weeks, let himself get back on track then i'd
call him or go round.............but I didnt get the chance, 2 weeks later my big brother was
gone.......... another brother taken his own life..... my heart ripped apart!! how could two of my
brothers die the same way??!! why??!!!
I was 6 months pregnant at the time and every one begged me to stay strong for the babies sake but
it is so so hard I miss him so much!!
when I first found out I was pregnant I called Stuart and he was so excited!! I even texted him a
picture of my first scan he was well chuffed.... my baby is due in 10 weeks and he'll never see it,
hold it or play with it and it breaks my heart but I swear my baby will know every thing about its
uncle Stu because he was just too amazing to forget!!
Since Stuart died I have been told that his schizophrenia had got alot worse in some countries they
call it the devil syndrome and I know in my heart of hearts that if stuart had of been well he'd of
never left his family,
Especially his mum Carol I know he thought the world of her they were so close. He loved every
single one of us just as much as we love him.
Rest in peace now darling......you better have one of your cuddles waiting for me!!! I love you xx
xx xx xx
Stuart was found dead on the 16/02/2008 he had taken his own life, just like our brother Russell 12
years earlier.
miss u babe x
Hi darlin just to let YOu no yovr never forgotten. Lovein YOu always love toni x kids x i come visit u other day i love yovr head stood its done YOu proud love always tone x x
hey you!!
just thought I'd leave you a message to let you know I'm thinking of you constantly!!!... your niece is being a little pain in the bottom at the moment!! keeps turning the telly off and running away!!... oh god i wish you could of stayed to meet her stu... she's so much like you!! always getting into trouble for something!! lol... hopefully she'll start behaving by the time harry gets hear or i really will have my hands full!!... you know where i am if you need me ;).. love you millions darling x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
well...... ITS A BOY!!!!! congratulations bruv your gonna have a little nephew!!... we have decided to call him Harry Stuart.... after you of course!! can't wait to bring him up to see you when he arrives!!!.... was texting every one in my phone today to let them know... and i came across your number "stu bruv"... it really broke my heart... because i know if you were hear I'd of been ringing you screaming down the phone with excitement that I'm having a son!!... instead I'm on hear writing to you... but i know i can't turn back the clock... believe me I've tried!!... hope you and rusty are well... love you millions hunny x x x x x x x x x
another niece or nephew!!!!
hey bruv!!
sorry its been a while... I've had afew things going on in my head but i had a good chat with your mum on Friday and i feel alot better.... anyway mr just wanted to let you know that your gonna be an uncle AGAIN!!! we find out on the 26th weather its a boy or another little princess so as soon as i get home I'll come on hear and let you know.. love you millions darling x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
hey you!!
oh stu i can't thinking about you!!
its driving me mad... i keep thinking of all the songs that remind me of you and i sit and listen to them... but then they make me cry so i have to switch them off anyway!!
i really hope your ok and your watching over your precious mum!! she needs you!!
i love you more than ever x x x x x x x
a whole year....
hey stu,
i can't believe its been a whole year since you went away!! its really starting hitting me that i'm never going to see your face again!!... i miss you sooo much stu!! i wish so much that you'd stuck around to see your niece .... then maybe you'd of stayed.... even just for 1 cuddle... she reminds me off you!!... always up to something she shouldn't be lol!!
i pray so hard that you've found peace and that your happy!!
all my love now,forever and always!!!
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
hey bruv,
i cant believe it'll be a year on Monday since you went away.... its so hard!! i know Justins finding it really hard but i don't know what to say to help him... i wish i could make all their pain go away but i cant and it makes me feel so helpless!!
I'm back to work on Monday i wasn't going to bother going in but i know if i don't I'll only feel worse and I'm sure you'll be right by my side helping me through it!! me, mum ellesse and summer will be up on wednesday to see you and rusty!
we should be coming to your house and you should be cuddling your beautiful niece!!.. instead i'm bringing her to a cold sad grave yard.... it breaks my heart Stuart it really does!!
I miss you more and more every day and the pain gets worse and worse!!
all my love now and forever
x x x x x x x
just missing you x
hey bruv,
just thought I'd come and leave you a message..... just to let you know I'm always thinking of you!!.... it was so so hard going back to the crematorium the other day for terry's funeral... i was in such a state when i realized I'd have to go back there i didn't think i could get through it.... and it's just my bloody luck that i ended up sitting in the exact same seat... or was it fate?? i guess we'll never know but either way i know you were there helping me through it, so cheers babe!!
hope you and rusty are well and hope your not giving your nan too much grief!!
I'm hoping to come up to your's and rusty's grave's tomorrow but if i don't make it (because of your neice keeping me up for the rest of the night!!) then i promise i'll be up in the week ok,
love you darling x x *bear hug* x x
childhood playmates
stuart and his bruv russ were 2 of my closest cousins,more like brothers to me and my sisters really as we lived together with my mum,dad,rachel,hayley and their mum when we were younger.i have lots of great memories from them times and these have helped a great deal with the healing process as nothing and no-one can take them away from me.I want you both 2 knw that u r in my thoughts daily and will always be missed. we are doing our best as a family to support each other and to be strong for each other we love and miss u both.xxxsarahxxx
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